One day, the Prime Minister of the Rabbits announced that his daughter, the lovely Brenda, would be wed to the first champion who could locate, for the republic, a tree that grew carrots.

Many set out on the journey, and many made the attempt, but none were successful. Indeed, so many young hopefuls were forced to return in disappointment that a saying became current, amongst rabbits everywhere:

“Carrots are roots, that grow in the ground,” they proclaimed. “A tree that grows carrots will never be found.”

After several years had gone by, and poor Brenda remained unwed, a young bunny by the name of Thelonious decided to try his luck. And so, one sunny afternoon, he bid his friends and family farewell, and set off into the forest. He traveled for quite a few days and saw many interesting sights, but no matter where he looked, he couldn't seem to find even a clue as to the location of a tree that grew carrots.

Then, one morning, as he was crawling out of the hole he had burrowed the night before, where he had enjoyed a very restful night's sleep, he happened to notice a small blue sparrow struggling with a twig growing out of a fallen log. The bird was pulling the twig, and grabbing it as tightly as it could in its beak, but wasn't making much progress breaking it free.

“Friend sparrow,” said Thelonious, “please allow me. I am larger than you, and perhaps I may succeed, where you fail.”

The bird stepped aside, and Thelonious gripped the twig between his teeth and pulled as hard as he could. In a moment - snap! - it was loose, and he dropped it to the ground. The bird picked it up, flew to the tip of a nearby tree, worked it into the nest he was building, and flew back down.

“Friend rabbit,” he said, “I must thank you most cordially for the assistance you have just rendered unto me. Might there be any similar favor which I could bestow upon you, that the debt shall be repaid and our brotherhood sealed?”

“That is quite the proper offer, friend sparrow,” said Thelonious, “and indeed, there is one matter in which you may be in a position to aid me. Would you, perchance, happen to be familiar with the location of a tree that grows carrots?”

“A tree that grows carrots would be a most unusual spectacle,” said the sparrow. “But, now that you mention it, I think I may know of the location of just such a thing. If you would follow me...”

“By all means.”

And so, the sparrow flew up into the sky, and Thelonious did his best to follow, hopping along after him as fast as he could.

After journeying several days, they came to a clearing. In the distance, a large compound was visible, surrounded by a sturdy chainlink fence.

“I believe you may come upon what you need in there,” said the sparrow, “If you find yourself in difficulty again, do not hesitate to call. I happen to be possessed of quite remarkable hearing.”

The rabbit thanked him and he flew away.

Thelonious hopped to the fence and stared at the large sign that hung in front of him. Rabbits, even those, like Thelonious, that are intelligent and well educated, for the most part can’t read, and so our hero had no idea what it said. But humans can read, so I'll tell you. It said “The Institute for Genetic Mutability.”

Thelonious wasted no time, and went straight to work digging. Within minutes he was under the fence, and he emerged on the other side and stared at his surroundings. He saw all sorts of wonders, including a giant stalk of broccoli from which hung bright red apples, a head of lettuce thirty feet tall, and a rose bush that sprouted bananas. And what was that? Over in the corner? It looked like... Yes! There it was! A tree that grew carrots.

Thelonious hopped for joy, and ran under it and stared in awe. While he was resting in its shade, contemplating the life of bliss he was soon to experience with beautiful Brenda, he suddenly felt a sharp prick in the side of his leg. He had been hit by a tranquilizing dart. “Oh dear,” he said, as his consciousness faded away.

When he awoke, he found himself trapped in a small cage, resting on the lawn of the compound. Along one side was a bowl of water, and Thelonious was so overcome with thirst that he immediately drank it empty. But what the poor bunny didn't know was that the mischievous scientists who ran the Institute had mixed the liquid with porcupine DNA extract. This will have very significant consequences, which we'll get to later in the story.

Through the bars, he could see that a small lever was the only thing keeping the door locked. But there was no way for him to trip it, from the inside. “No matter,” thought the enterprising Thelonious. Then he called, as loudly as he could “Oh, bird.... Friend sparrow...”

In a matter of moments he heard a rustling overhead, and then, there was his good companion in front of him. “Well,” said the bird. “That's quite a predicament you seem to have gotten yourself into. Would you like me to...?”

“Please do,” said Thelonious.

And so the bird pushed the lever into the up position, and the rabbit was free. He thanked his friend, and quickly darted to the tunnel under the fence.

Free of the compound, he started off on the long journey back to his home. Along the way though - you remember that porcupine DNA extract? - he began to notice that strange growths were emerging from under his skin. As he continued, they grew larger, and by the time he reached his destination, they had become powerful spikes that jutted out from his body in all directions.

When he reached the seat of the Rabbit government, the guards, who had never seen anything like him, were quite terrified. But rabbits are inherently reasonable, and he soon convinced them that it was only fair that he be given an audience with the Prime Minister.

“Mr. Prime Minister,” he declared, when that audience took place, “I have located a tree that grows carrots, and thus demand your daughter's paw in marriage.”

“If what you say is true,” replied the Prime Minister, “you shall have it, no matter that you appear more beast than rabbit. But first, you must show proof. Take us to this tree.”

And so, a giant expedition was organized, including Thelonious, the Prime Minister, Brenda, and all the legions of the Rabbit Republic, and they all marched back to the Institute grounds.

When they arrived, they soon saw that Thelonious' story was true. There, indeed, was a tree that grew carrots. They waited until nightfall, and then a gigantic hole was dug under the fence, and mobs and mobs of rabbits approached the tree and dug it up. If only you could have seen it, what a sight it was! They carried the entire thing, from lowest roots to highest branches under the hole, out to the clearing, and then deep into the forest.

“Thelonious,” said the Prime Minister, “you have spoken truth. We now, at last, possess a tree that grows carrots. All of rabbitdom is indebted to you, and you may have my daughter for your wife.”

But Brenda, who was terrified by the spikes all over our hero, was appalled. “Oh never!” she cried. “Never, never, never shall I marry a monster such as that.”

“Brenda,” exclaimed the horrified Prime Minister, “we have given our word! There can be no retraction now.”

“It's no matter, sir,” said Thelonious. “If she won't have me voluntarily, I certainly won't force myself upon her. I've a bit more pride than that.”

And there the subject rested.

But during the journey home, the entire company was attacked by a wolf. This cunning creature carried off one helpless rabbit after another, and filled the hearts of all of them with terror. The Prime Minister soon despaired of any of them making it.

But when Thelonious spotted the wolf, in the process of carrying off another victim, he walked right up to him, and said, “Say there, friend wolf, that's really no way to behave, now is it?”

The wolf became enraged, and threw down the rabbit he was carrying, and leapt upon Thelonious. But the moment he tried to close his jaw around our hero's neck, he felt the sharp spikes tear through the inside of his mouth, and he fled in terror.

“Poor fellow should use a breath freshener,” said Thelonious.

When Brenda heard about his heroism, she reversed her decision and announced that, as he was so brave and powerful, she would marry him, after all, even though he did look more like a pin cushion than a bunny.

The wedding was celebrated with great splendor and the tree was planted. When Brenda's father retired, Thelonious was elected to be the new Prime Minister, and by that time the tree had multiplied, so there were carrots in plenty for everyone, and all the rabbits lived happily ever after.

I'm not certain what became of the sparrow.