One day the President called his cabinet into conference and made a grim announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “we have a very difficult problem to attend to. For the past several days, my daughter has been distraught. Where previously her face was filled with smiles, now she only frowns. Where, in the past, her eyes shone bright like daffodils in the Spring, now they droop, and focus only upon the ground. We must snap her out of it and restore her to her previous state of contentment.”

“Mr. President,” said the Vice-President, “I believe the only course of action is to...”

“Obviously,” interrupted the Secretary of Agriculture, “what the poor little thing needs is some fresh air. Let her spend a week on a farm in the countryside, and she’ll be back to her old self, sure as shootin'.”

And so, the President’s daughter was taken to a farm in Idaho, where she spent a week eating wholesome foods, getting up at the crack of dawn, milking the cows, and gathering eggs from under the chickens.

But when she returned to the White House, she was as sad and gloomy as ever.

“I’m afraid,” said the President, “she is still distraught. Can anyone else suggest a course of action?”

“Mr. President,” said the Vice-President, “what we really must do is...”

“Action!” butted in the Secretary of Defense. “Excitement! Thrills, chills, and adventure! The girl is bored and needs to get her adrenaline flowing. Give her a ride in one of our F-57-9-1-2 super-sonic bombers. That’ll put some spice in her life.”

The President agreed and, next morning, the girl was taken to a nearby Air Force base and strapped into a plane. The pilot took off, and put the aircraft through its paces. He did giant loop-de-loops that drew enormous circles in the sky. He flew straight down and dived almost to the ground before swooping back up in a huge arch. He broke the sound barrier not once, not twice, but three separate times.

Alas, it was for naught. The girl became a bit dizzy, but when they pulled her out of the cockpit her lips pointed low, and she sighed the whole way home.

“Who’s next?” asked the President. “I am becoming desperate.”

“Mr. President,” said the Vice-President, “the only thing to do is...”

“Travel, sir,” said the Secretary of State, jumping up from her seat. “What she needs is to see the world. Tokyo, London, Paris, Moscow. Those are the places to be. Just the thing to warm a young girl’s heart.”

And so, the child was taken on a whirlwind tour of all the great capitals. She dined in the best restaurants, she visited the best museums, she saw all the best shows. But when she finally returned, it had done no good whatsoever.

“Oh my, oh my, oh my,” said the President. “Surely, by now, we’ve tried everything. We’ve tried fresh air, we’ve tried excitement, we’ve tried travel. What could be left? Whatever shall we do?”

The Vice-President looked around the table. The Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare hadn’t a clue. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff was nodding his head sadly. The Secretary of the Treasury was shrugging her shoulders. It seemed to be safe.

“Mr. President,” the Vice-President began, “as I’ve tried, in the past, to suggest, I am convinced that the only thing to be done is to invite your daughter in and simply ask her what is wrong!”

“Ask her?” said the Secretary of Agriculture.

“Ask her?” said the Secretary of Defense.

“Ask her?” said the Secretary of State.

“Ask her?” said the President. “Yes! Of course! Brilliant! Get her in here, have her fetched immediately.”

And so the little girl was brought into the Cabinet Room, and the President sat her on his knees and asked “My child, why have you been so unhappy of late?”

“Dad!” said the lass. “It’s my shoes. They’re much too tight, and they kill me when I walk.”

“Your shoes?” repeated the President. “Your shoes? For God’s sake, have her brought a larger pair at once!”

She was, and when she tried them on a giant smile spread over her face, and she ran to the White House lawn to gather dandelions.

She never frowned again, and from that day onward, no one ever ignored the Vice-President.