Once there was a man named Jonathon who was desperately afraid of everything, even his own shadow.

When he was a little child, his parents offered to take him on a trip to Disneyland.

“No,” he said. “I’m scared that the plane will crash.”

When he was a little older, his friends asked him to come out and play baseball with them.

“No,” he said. “I’m scared I’d get hit by the ball.”

When he was in college, a girl asked him to take her to a dance.

“No,” he said. “I’m scared I’d trip and break my leg.”

And so it went. The older he grew, the more fearful he turned.

As time went on, it became harder and harder for him to function in the world at all. Eventually, he had no choice but to quit his job. He had become too fearful to leave his house.

He had managed to save a little money, and so, for some years, he was able to survive. Every day the grocery store would send a delivery boy to leave a bag full of food outside his door. Once a week he’d leave an envelope with their payment in his mailbox.

One day, while eating a salami sandwich, he became consumed with a horrifying thought. What if the delivery boy had poisoned his food? What if he planed to wait until Jonathon died an agonizing death and then break in and rob the house?

Jonathon was terrified. He threw the sandwich into the garbage and called the grocery store to cancel his deliveries. He resolved that, from that day on, he would eat nothing but the tomatoes he grew in his own window box, and drink nothing except purified tap-water.

Year after year went by. Eventually, Jonathon became afraid of the open spaces inside his own home. On that day, he ran up to the bedroom, pulled down the shades, and cowered helplessly under the sheets.

He surely would be there still today, except that the next evening a giant meteorite came tumbling from the sky and crashed through the roof, crushing him to death instantly.